Listening to my Body

Today I ate light. I didn't work out, but I still ate less than what I would have if I hadn't eaten out. Basically, I was careful. I ate slowly. I thought about whether I was really hungry or not. And surprise surprise, I ate probably half of what I would have otherwise.
Breakfast-- I wasn't that starving, so I had 1/4 cup cottage cheese, 1/4 cup yogurt, half a banana, some raspberries, 1/4 cup grapenuts, and a tsp of flax. As you can see, this isn't deprivation or anything, but is definitely lighter than what I would have gotten. If I had been truly still hungry, I would have gotten more, but since I wasn't, I stuck with it. It was a great feeling not to feel stuffed after breakfast.
The thing is, I was so focused on thinking about eating slowly that I FORGOT TO PHOTOGRAPH MY FOOD! Ha... I find that really funny.
After breakfast I went to Istria, the yummy cafe/ gelato place by my house, to write my first art history paper. I made big mistake # 1 of the day: I ordered a cappuccino. I remember that my mom loves their cappucinos, but the "small" was honestly the size of a soup bowl. I know most of it was foam, and I had no problem finishing it, but I honestly felt nauseous and had a stomache ache for the rest of the day. This is why I really shouldn't drink coffee. Anyways, it was still a good idea to go there because I just sat down and wrote my paper. You have to pay for wireless there, so there was nothing to distract me.
I came back and we ate lunch a little while later. My lunch was also maybe a 1/3 of the size of my usual one... I had one piece of pumpernickel with hummus, spinach, and 2 triangles of lemon thyme tofu, plus a carrot, some cucumber and celery with the rest of the hummus. I also had a bowl of Trader Joe's roasted pepper and tomato soup. I ate very slowly and even noticed that all the different flavors were more pronounced... the tofu is definitely DELICIOUS in sandwiches. The chewy texture made it so satisfying!
I didn't finish all the vegetables.
A big later, I decided I just HAD TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. I decided to go downtown for no apparent reason and run some errands. The problem is, I am probably the only moron in this country who has never heard of Black Friday (my mom explained it when she called later), so I didn't understand why 1) I had to stand squished on the bus the whole way there 2) I could hardly move walking down the street and 3) there were tons of sales.
I WAS ON MICHIGAN AVENUE, for crying out loud. How stupid could I be?
Talk about unobservant... I mean, I knew people were here for Thanksgiving break... It was weird, because listening to all the different languages, I mainly just heard Chinese and French, the 2 foreign languages that I speak, being spoken... EVERYWHERE. It was like I was in China and not America, that's how many Chinese people there were.
I stopped in Nordstrom and got some shirts (didn't even want to think about buying pants), eye makeup, and body butter. Then I walked to the Borders by Watertower and bought Interview with the Vampire, which I am already really into. Then I walked really far north, realized there were no bus stops, then walked all the way back and over the bridge. I would say I got a good 3 mile walk in today, so at least I wasn't totally sedentary. I'm going to swim tomorrow, I think.
When I got home, I had to acknowledge the fact that I was pretty hungry. I didn't want to completely spoil my appetite, but I needed something more than just a piece of fruit. I had an apple (sliced, to make it last longer), a spoonful of peanut butter, and a few crackers with some milky tea. When I finished, I saw there were some crackers that I'd missed. I was about to eat them when I stopped myself-- I was full for the time being. I think I'm going about this the right way.
Dinner was very fast-- we just had leftovers and my dad stir-fried some zucchini really quickly.
For protein, I had some black beans with a bit of yogurt. My plate also has the zucchini, cranberry sauce, corn bread, and some of the squash-millet bake.
I ate slowly and DIDN'T HAVE SECONDS. I was tempted, but honestly my stomach has been feeling weird since the coffee and I didn't.
However, I do feel some hunger pangs, so I'm going to have a small snack. I don't feel deprived-- I just feel pure. Of course, I'll eat more when I exercise and eating is still my life... I just don't feel overstuffed anymore.

UGH, for the second time since my mom left, I tasted spoiled milk. I guess the problem is that my dad doesn't drink milk and I don't drink it that much... Maybe we should just stop buying it? I used the other milk, which is even older but somehow hasn't spoiled yet... I wonder what they put in it-- I'm slight suspicious (it was the 2%)-- anyways, even though it's caffeinated, I had some hot chocolate. When my stomach feels strange some warm milk usually makes it feel better. I had some grapes and a tiny piece of Green and Black's dark chocolate to feed my sweet tooth. And off to bed I go!

Thanksgiving Eve

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and it will be strange! For the first time, I'm basically cooking an entire dinner myself :) so I'll have to get cracking early. I'm planning on getting up and enjoying a leisurely breakfast, getting started on prep work, and writing my paper, then meeting up with some people for a run, having lunch, and I guess cooking for the rest of the day. Finally, an excuse to cook for enough people to make something special!
By the way, it turned out that the Autumn Millet bake needed way more cooking time than the recipe said, so I'm going to serve that tomorrow night as well, although it does seem a little redundant.
Anyways, Breakfast:
Not to be boring, but we really did have to get rid of that banana bread, and with my dad's help, it is ALL GONE! I had two pieces with peanut butter and grapes, but no hot chocolate.
I did work and stuff in the morning, and really regretted not having done any exercise... I really didn't feel like running because I had that long run with friends the day before, so I did the unthinkable... I went swimming.
It felt so strange to be in the water again, and yet not strange at all! In fact, it was comforting to me, like the rhythm of the turns and arm motions brought back tons of my memories (both good and bad). The problem is that the pool downstairs is tiny and almost too shallow in the shallow end for flip turns, but it feels amazing to have the ENTIRE pool to yourself! I had so much room that I really felt myself moving forward in my fly!
I swam for about 45 minutes-- enough for a good workout, but not enough that I was no longer having fun (yes, this workout was really FUN). This wasn't even half a swim practice...
Warmup-- 10 laps (once again, no idea how long this pool was, but I was betting that the 10 laps were maybe 300-400 yds? not even, maybe)
Then I did the normal warmup we do for meets:
Fly-- kick down, swim back, drill down, swim back
Same thing for Back
Same thing for Breast
Same thing for Free
Only I did this cycle 4 times, with 10 seconds of rest between each lap, so it wasn't terrible.
This was actually pretty time consuming, considering each "cycle" is 8 laps.
After that, I decided to do a fast IM, going at a fast pace: a lap each of fly, back, breast, and then free.
Then I did another 10 laps cool down, and my dad came down to tell me he was going to a meeting. I got all excited about swimming and did a fast lap of fly for him. That's the thing-- sometimes I get in the water and I can't move and other times it's just so fun.
Lunch-- for some reason I've gotten addicted to wraps! Also, they're too messy to take to school, so I might as well enjoy them while I can.
This wrap was stuffed to the brim and really strange... basically, I'm just trying to clear out the fridge:
Pumpkin (already mixed with some cinnamon and maple syrup)
Red pepper hummus
Portobella mushroom
Leftover Chinese grilled green peppers (with a lot of vinegar)
Black beans
Baby spinach
Weird, huh? The pumpkin got a little weird at the end... it was definitely the odd one out, but it also worked.
I also had a carrot with some more hummus and a bowl of yogurt, cottage cheese, berries and some cereal. Of course, this bowl soon became bottomless. I refilled it, then refilled it again with milk, then promptly threw it away because the milk was so sour it was disgusting. Ugh. But I still wanted more so I got a new bowl and had some cereal with soymilk. THIS IS THE PROBLEM OF CEREAL. IT NEVER ENDS. That's why it seems like having two big pieces of banana bread is fattening, but really it isn't because you know exactly how much you're eating. Maybe I should make Thanksgiving resolutions instead of New Years ones... If so, mine would be COOL IT ON THE CEREAL/yogurt/cottage cheese.
After lunch, I met up with my friend Gauri for a heart-to-heart by school. I was originally going to see Twilight AGAIN, but plans didn't work out. After I left Gauri, I went to the bookstore and sat there for a while, browsing (mostly cookbooks...).
My dad picked me up and we went grocery shopping at Treasure Island. I HATE THIS PLACE. It's so badly organized, and everybody seemed to be moving so SLOWLY... you could hardly move without crashing into somebody. This is why we do most of our shopping downtown. Also, I needed buttermilk for the cornbread, and the only kind I could find was this really suspicious-looking stuff that had a long-ish ingredients list.
When I got home, I was kind of hungry, but didn't want to eat too much in anticipation of dinner... I also didn't want to overdo it on the hot chocolate, so I made carob instead-- skim milk with a spoonful of carob, brown sugar, cinnamon, and 2 mini marshmallows. If it weren't for the marshmallows I probably would have thought it was gross.
As for dinner, we got there an hour later but we were still among the earliest. The food spread wasn't that great or vegetarian-friendly, but I managed, and it was mainly the atmosphere that I liked. I love the grad students. One guy is awesome and was playing the banjo and harmonica at the same time... he also said that I should write a book on the history of Russian-French cuisine, since the Russian aristocracy all spoke French. A bunch of people also think that if I start eating meat, I should do a section on my blog that talks about the changes that I feel physically and mentally when I start again. He said, "I bet you'll be more aggressive."
The food:
-Turkey from Whole Foods (apparently this was really good)
-Our AMAZING cranberry sauce. This was probably the only thing I ate tonight that was really worth eating, and I ate more of it than I should, since it's not too good for the stomach. Basically, it has orange zest, walnuts, and blueberries in it. Truely gourmet.
-Stuffing that came with the turkey was vegetarian and had mushrooms and a lot of rosemary in it
-homemade stuffing with sausage, wild rice, and vegetables (I would really have liked to try this....)
-Stuffed tofu skins with sesame seeds, which I LOVE
-One of our foodie friends who is awesome and has a black belt in martial arts and is from Malaysia made brandade, which she said actually took 3 days! She got the salt cod at a little Italian place by Randolph.
-Brussel sprouts
-American-style greenbeans (I think came with the turkey)-- very bland
-Some generic Asian stir-fried vegetables. I thought they were homemade, given all the Asians, and took a lot, but they were actually gloopy and probably from Noodles.
-Mashed potatoes, which I took but didn't eat because I don't really like them.
-Shepherd's pie
-Duck from Chinatown
And then our Italian foodie friend Paola showed up with cauliflower croquettes and a loaf of homemade sourdough hot from the oven!!! Unfortunately I was full by this point, but we took the croquettes and the entire loaf home! Paola has also invited me to come make pizza with her Saturday, so I'm pretty excited.
I had seconds on stuffing and cranberry sauce.

Dessert: I actually passed on dessert. I just didn't feel like I needed it. I did have bites and sips of various things.

Green tea/lemon sorbet-- this was really more like granita, and just like eating ice with a drizzle of green tea. It was palate-cleansing and made my stomach feel better.
There were also 2 sweet Korean drinks-- one was the cinnamon I like so much and one was with brown rice. I had a sip of each and decided they were way too sweet.
Other desserts: only 2 were homemade-- orange cake and pumpkin cheesecake. It doesn't like like it has pumpkin b/c it's yellow, but this student is SERIOUSLY talented. Last party she made tiramisu and it tasted just like it was from a bakery. She also manages to produce these bakery boxes and gilded stands for the cake, and decorates it perfectly. Koreans are known for being good bakers, but she hasn't even had any training... what??
I didn't have the cake, but I did have a bite of my dad's... it was amazing. It's hard to make cheesecake really delicious and not too heavy, but this was perfect. It had an oreo crust and was perfectly light and creamy.
All in all, I didn't eat that much, although most of what I ate I didn't have to. I think I am under a misapprehension that I don't get enough vegetables, so whenever I see them at a party I take way more than I should and I get full really fast. And next time pass on the cornstarch baby corn dishes... please.

Thanksgiving countdown!

This is hilarious... Page put up flyers all over school with MY FACE ON THEM, advertising for Renaissance, our lit magazine. I'm not even on the board... although I did submit some food things from this blog, edited to seem slightly literary. This flyer was on the door of my first period class... she wanted to make sure I saw it.

Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday... it's secular and there's a lot of food, and it happens to be during the fall, which is the time for the foods of paradise: pumpkins, apples, carrots, and the like.
I FOUND MY CAMERA, and all I can say is that I'm lucky nobody took it. It was in my French room (no breakfast or lunch pictures because I didn't have my camera then).
For breakfast, I had exactly the same thing as yesterday (my sweet tooth has been running wild!). Maybe it's not the healthiest thing ever... God knows how much sugar is in it, but it holds me over better than oatmeal, if that's even possible: 2 pieces of banana bread with peanut butter, berries, and hot chocolate.
Today the hot chocolate was true Parisian style: I used my special occasion Vosges hot chocolate, which has chiles and cornmeal. I also used 2%, because I feel that this is an instance where it really counts, and boy, could I tell! It was so chocolaty and intense that I couldn't believe this was hot chocolate from home.
Lunch: Leftover vegetables and tofu with brown rice, Kashi crackers, an apple, and a Clif Nectar bar (I ate the Kashis in French).
I so felt like going for a run after school, and we took a nice, long run to the 43rd street playground. Once again, I'd say 5-6 miles, which is long for me, definitely. I'm actually pretty proud of myself that I'm able to run with the cross country people... I'm not the same pace as the fastest, but these workouts don't actually tire me. Compared to swimming, pas de probleme. Speaking of which, guys swimming has started! There are some pretty hot guys on the team... you can better believe that I'll be helping them time at some of their meets.
When I got home from my run I realized I was pretty hungry, and I had almost the same snack as yesterday (all about repeats today...), cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, grapenuts, and a chopped up pear.
My dad and I have been cooking a lot this week, as you can see, so we went our own directions for dinner. After he got back from swimming in the pool downstairs, which I would use more often if it weren't only 15 or so yards long, we made dinner: he just had a Trader Joe's frozen pizza, I made a salad for him, and the best burrito ever for myself! This was my first experience actually folding the burrito so that it didn't fall apart! Whoohoo!
We're trying to get rid of this massive bag of mushrooms, so I grilled up some of the smaller portobellos and actually made portobello burritos.
Inside the whole wheat tortilla, which I toasted: a sliced, grilled portobello that I brushed with sherry vinegar and olive oil (we're out of balsamic!!), homemade guacamole, brown rice, black beans, and a dollop of Greek yogurt. This was so much fun to eat... messy in a good way!
On the side I had my salad and some mango, which went perfectly with the whole Tex-Mex thing.
However, later on I was really in the mood for some dessert (I usually am on exercise days) and had my usual combination of vanilla frozen yogurt and the Purely Decadent Snickerdoodle. I have got to stop going back for seconds! It's almost Thanksgiving and I'm going to stuff my face anyway! Bad idea!
Speaking of Thanksgiving, I spent tonight fabricating my menu.
Tomorrow, Wednesday, grad students are having a potluck, and we're bringing cranberry sauce (my dad just made it-- it smells great, with lots of orange zest and even some blueberries in it!) and I'm making Mark Bittman's Autumn Millet bake.
Thursday, we're inviting back some more grad students and this is what I have in mind:
Salad-- greens with pear, feta, candied pecans, pomegranate seeds, and pomegranate molasses dressing (my creation... the dressing just has lemon, pomegranate molasses, salt, pepper, and olive oil)
Main course from the Flexitarian Kitchen-- Cornish game hens/ pumpkins with a quinoa and dried fruit stuffing
My dad's stir-fried string beans
Cranberry sauce
Cornbread

Dessert: I really wanted to try Gourmet's pumpkin souffles with bourbon molasses sauce, but 1) it only serves 8 and we have 9 people in total and 2) I don't want to screw up a souffle on the first try. My mom is known for making the best apple pie ever, but I guess that's not happening this year :(
I think we'll settle for apple and quince crisp with rum raisins (this was from Epicurious)

How does it sound? Good? I actually have a lot to do over this break-- in addition to finishing Moby-Dick, math, and a French reading, I have 2 ART HISTORY PAPERS to write, although I suppose it's my own fault for procrastinating...

Another week's worth of food

Breakfasts (mainly oatmeal, also had a delicious peach/blueberry compote)

Dinners
Baked scallops with tomatoes and onions (would have been better seared), used the next day in a salad with walnuts.
Baked eggplant and tomato, brown rice, cottage cheese, salad
black beans with peppers, onions and feta, with radish salad and leftover eggplant.

(Monday I ate dinner at a neighbors and had poached salmon and a delicious salad of beets, romaine, peppers, avocado and pine nuts)
I suppose I could photograph my lunches, but is it really worth it? It's usually just leftovers or a sandwich, a lot of fruit, yogurt, trail mix, etc. Nothing especially interesting.

Confined in a little space

I'm starting to realize that if I don't exercise, I start to feel sick. Seriously! Today, I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I had no appetite, had a horrible sinus ache, felt nauseous, and literally lifeless. I never wanted to see the apartment again: it was too bright, the corners too sharp, and I had never felt more claustrophobic. For a minute I really thought I was on the edge of a mental breakdown. I didn't get hungry for lunch until 4:00... everything seemed delayed.
For some reason, my breakfast picture didn't upload, but I thought I would share my dad's super Asian breakfast because I thought it was so cute (PS, he usually is more of a toast/ bacon and eggs guy, so this is not especially typical). He got back from China yesterday, bringing with him awesome whole grain breads from the little restaurant downstairs: corn, black bean, and a little corn bun filled with wild vegetables. The black bean smelled almost like vanilla (the black flecks reminded me of vanilla beans too). Of course, they were still tasteless (but delicious), so I ate mine with peanut butter. My dad ate his plain with some hot soymilk.
For lunch, I took leftover black beans and diluted them into soup, adding turmeric, cinnamon, paprika, and a little coconut. I ate it with Greek yogurt and more of the Chinese monk buns (so I like to call them).
By late afternoon, I finally realized what was making me crazy was lack of exercise, so I went for a run. At almost 5! That's really rare for me, especially because I wasn't used to the humidity (I'm used to going first thing in the morning). I ran to the 43rd street bridge, which is where I usually go, but for some reason it literally seemed to take only 10 minutes to get there, even though I didn't feel like I was running especially quickly. The run was over too fast, and I was not ready to go back indoors. My knee was starting to hurt, so when I got back to my house, I walked to the Point, watched all the people BBQing and picnicing, then ran back very quickly. I was soaked with sweat. It definitely wasn't tiring, but all I needed was to get my heart rate up a bit. At least that way I had an appetite for dinner! I felt bad that I couldn't help make it (originally I was thinking about cooking), but when I got back it was already 6:15!
We had couscous, which is usually my dish, but today my mom made it. We used all our fresh farmer's market vegetables: butternut squash, zucchini, carrots, as well as chickpeas, raisins, dates, prunes, and a lot of cilantro and parsley. There wasn't enough couscous, so we also made rice.

On the side we had a frisee salad and I made a really good (if I do say so myself) yogurt tahini dressing with a little bit of olive oil, lemon, and paprika.
I need to find things to do on Sundays, otherwise I really may go insane. so far there isn't enough homework to keep me occupied, and I NEVER thought I'd say that... last year I literally had 4 hours a night, and now I don't even have 2. What HAPPENED? I thought junior year was the most stressful one!